In a very interesting course I’m taking on vocation, we are asked to look at our childhood experiences and especially at those places in our current lives where we haven’t really grown up. That is, where we don’t act like mature adults. Two things immediately come to mind for me: food and spending.
I know that once I get on amazon, my toddler self (me want cookie NOW) is going to be managing the keyboard and so I stay off as best I can. This may seem a cute image but it isn’t really. It means that a non-thinking but highly desiring part of me is in charge.
That’s the same thing that happens when I’m in active food addiction. A whiny kid shows up at the first efforts at abstinence. She’s rebellious and defiant. “You can’t make me. I don’t want more vegetables. I want fat. I want sugar. I want treats.” Sometimes it’s just “I want more.” It’s interesting for me now to contemplate the maturity aspect of this encounter. What would my relationship with food be like if I grew up around it?
Is food one of those places where you don’t want to grow up?