I’ve been at this game of addiction/recovery/addiction/recovery for a very long time. Some of you have too. For that last eight or nine years, I’ve been in an inquiry to understand myself. Not why I do it, which in many ways is no longer relevant, but why I can’t stop.
I understand the brain science of it all—how the cravings work and how they resurface. I understand that addiction isn’t logical, isn’t rational, that my brain cannot “solve” this. I also understand that there’s a very delicate balance between what my will power can do and what it can’t.
I could say that I can’t stop because I don’t want to stop and that is partially true. My desire to stop is not as strong as my desire to keep eating everything I want. The old short-term gratification problem. But I also know it’s more complicated than that. In order to stop and stay stopped, I need to make some big adjustments to my life and that’s what I’m resisting.
What are you resisting around your food addiction?