The 12-Step programs don’t assume that recovery is a “been there, done that” kind of experience. Recovery is a process, not an event; an ongoing commitment, not a single decision. This is the meaning of “one day at a time.”
I had lunch with an old friend yesterday and told her I was going to risk going deep into my feelings about food and safety (as I know they are linked) and see if I can heal up some more of what is prompting me to overeat. She looked at me rather quizzically and said, “Haven’t you already done that?”
“Of course,” I replied, “but it’s not a talk-about-it-and-be-done thing. It’s deep, it’s complex, and it’s multi-layered, that conditioning that happens to us as kids in less-than-healthy homes. And I’m still not at peace and I want to be.”
I’m not sure I convinced her of anything but I didn’t have to. I just know that I am further along on the journey than ever and there’s still a ways to go. As the AA wisdom says, “More will be revealed.”
What deeper layers of recovery are waiting for you to explore them?